About The Main Author
I was ‘christened’ as a baby in the Church of England, and went to almost daily church services throughout my school life. I eventually found these boring and meaningless, and in my last years at school tried to miss them as much as I could. I then did not set foot inside a church for any reason (weddings, funerals or anything) from 18 to 25. It was at this age that I came to know God for myself, and naturally wanted to spend time with my brothers and sisters in Christ, and to worship with them.
From fourteen onwards I had suffered continuously from minor mental and emotional difficulties, accompanied by mild depression. At times I needed medication to control this. As I now know, all this was the result of a sequence of traumatic experiences – at 8, for example, I was sent 8,000 miles away from home to boarding school, and at 14 had a shock eye injury – and of trying to run my life my own way. In particular, I gave literally my all, but on ever-depleting inner resources, to trying to earn the approval of very demanding authority figures. By the time I was 25 I had a jet-set lifestyle that many regarded as glamorous: more money coming in than I could spend… cover-model girlfriend… competitive sport etc. But it wasn’t working for me inside.
In the months leading up to my truly opening up to God, new pressures made the depression dramatically worse. I took on to myself the misery of the children of a hugely wealthy, hedonistic, and world-renowned family, for whom I worked, and whose children were into drugs and other material antidotes to their inner pain and emptiness. (Whilst I became a Christian – partly through God’s Spirit speaking to me through my experiences with this family – and have since gone from strength to strength, the family member I had most to do with sadly subsequently committed suicide after a lifetime of unhappiness.) I had nothing effective to offer them, and realised that in many ways I was like them. I was searching for many of the immediate and eternal inner love solutions God wants us all to have, but also as selfish myself in my own ways as they were. The process of conviction had begun.
I was a privileged, ‘decent’ young Englishman. I had been authoritatively told by that ultimate English spiritual authority, the Church of England, that I became a Christian and was on my way to heaven from the moment that, as a baby, I had some water sprinkled on my forehead. But now I began to see my own faults and failures in life in a real way for the first time – and from God’s perspective. The depression became dramatically worse, and I began to experience breakdown as well. These forces took hold of me in such an overpowering way that I was soon brought to a complete emotional and physical standstill, and had to stop working.
In desperation I turned to a doctor, and asked if the ‘psychological’ guys could maybe help me. I will never forget him telling me – almost like a death sentence to the real person with huge positive potential that I knew I was somewhere inside myself – that I “could be in and out of psychiatrists’ rooms for the next ten years and still see no improvement”. Faced with this prospect, I felt any remaining enthusiasm for living begin to drain away. From then on, I was in a losing battle to find either the mental clarity and motivation, or the physical energy and strength to accomplish even the most basic daily routines – like simply getting up, shaving, and getting dressed.
Although it seemed to stretch the medical and psychological professions to their limits, my condition proved to be well within God’s power to heal. A concerned Christian was quick to befriend me, and to tell me about Him and the quality of life that He offers. I still had a lot of questions and was often a trying person to try to talk to. (I was furious when a now dear friend told me straight that I was not a Christian in God’s terms.) I have a legal family background and a law degree myself, and I examined His case set out in the Bible for my letting Him be God in my life a bit like a barrister examining a witness in a court of law. But this man really did have the patience and humility of a saint – and the love of God – and finally I concluded that what he and one or two other Christians told me about God was consistent, added up, and had no flaws. A God who is Truth and whose case against (and for) us never has any flaws was in the background orchestrating what they said to me. I well remember the moment that I was asked if there was any reason left why I should not ask Him to come into my life by His Spirit. I opened my mouth to ask just one more question… because I always had more questions… and then closed it, because everything had been covered! ‘No,’ I then said quietly, almost in defeat! It was the most positive defeat I have ever suffered!!!!… I at last decided to agree with Him that running my life my way had not worked and decided to let Him come in and take gentle charge instead.
No sooner had I done this than He became dramatically real to me. This changed everything. He was, quite simply, powerful, unconditional love and light personified. Broken, unresisting, and humbled as I was, He was able to access deep places within me by the power of His Spirit. The severe depression and breakdown and their debilitating side-effects left me instantly – never to return. I did not set foot in any psychiatrist’s consulting room, nor have I used any medication since that day. I moved quite literally into a different world, with God the central reality. A whole new vista and way of thinking opened up inside me.
The contrast between the two worlds of the endless, subtle nightmare of a life without Him, and the light and love and hope and direction that He can bring, and the inner heaven-on-earth that we move into once He is there (whatever new hardships this fallen world may still throw at us from outside), were just so stark for me at my conversion over thirty years ago, and remain so all these years later.
With the strength, motivation, and guidance He gave me as I dialogued with Him in prayer, I quickly rebuilt my working life. I rose within ten years from the bottom to the top of my chosen speciality in big business in the City of London, until in 1990 I was called out of that and the world of the comfortable monthly paycheque, annual bonus, and company car, into the work that I now do – helping others to experience the same kind of transformation and healing in their lives that I have. (I was actually sacked by my last employer for being unwilling to be involved in dishonest business dealings of theirs. And, though I had by then risen the very top of the tree in the City in my area of speciality, God had new pastures for me.) In my ministry I have had no human employer and no other source of income, and have not ‘charged’ rigidly for what I do, but all my financial needs over 20 years have been well met by a God who knows them all and has prompted others to give when needed – though it has been mostly those that have directly benefitted from the ministry that have willingly funded me.
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At the time of my conversion and initial healing, to which have been added many others since, I understood very little of the mechanics of what had just happened to me or how. But in the years that have followed I have come to understand much more fully. As a result I have written and had published a book – Soul Makeover - on how to receive deep inner healing and transformation by the power God’s Holy Spirit. The book itself contains real-life stories of healings other than my own that I have been privileged to help bring about, and I have had messages from as far away as India and the USA thanking me for it, and telling me how it has been used by God to change lives.
Alongside a passion to see as many others as possible receive all the life-changing benefits of true Christianity, sits another passion of mine: to expose the false Christian belief system that I was sold from birth and that kept me ‘in the dark’ until I was 25. This system not only keeps many millions away entirely from a true experience of God and His power for themselves in this life – and from heaven when they die – but it also holds many true born-again believers back from receiving their full inheritance here and now, as well as their full eternal reward at judgment.
You will see these two passions expressed repeatedly in the articles and teaching on this site.